[here's a bossy british voice in your ear as you're surreptitiously creeping down a hallway you're most certainly not allowed to be in.]
Left. No, left. The other left. The one with the door you've got to go through. It'll take you to a staircase that'll take you to your target if everything goes right. That obviously isn't going to happen, but you've got to use the stairs anyway.
[this is a terribly timed mission. terribly, terribly timed. because you know what's happening today? the us youth soccer championship. and you know who's in the us youth soccer championship? the fucking petunias, aka the awesome team that his awesome niece is totally the star of. he'd really like to get out of this on time to maintain his chance at catching at least the second half, but right now, by the looks of it, that isn't going to happen.
the annoying voice continually chattering away in his ear certainly isn't helping.
he turns his head for a quick check to make sure that the hallway's clear, then lets out a clipped sigh.]
Thanks. This is helpful, I appreciate it. [s a r c a s m] Really, I'm just, you know, overwhelmed by this whole orgasm of helpfulness I'm getting here. Never had anything like it in my life.
Leave talk of your erectile functions to off hours, Mister Jensen.
[b r i s k l y. this isn't any picnic for her either; if she didn't have express orders from MI6 to help the losers, she'd just as soon rather be at home in her pyjamas with her cats.]
I can tell you what the score is if you'd really like to know. This is hardly demanding all of my attention.
[she might be playing sudoku while directing him around. maybe.]
[he's going to say something about the 'erectile functions' (even has his hands up, prepared to do air quotes), when something causes him to stop. or, well, not just something, but a specific word. suddenly, his mocking has given way to straight up indignation.
and it's loud.]
What? Look, I never said anything about the Petunias. Anything. Which, you know what that means? It means you were snooping, and didn't anyone ever tell you that that's not cool? Because it's really not fucking -
[somewhere in this tirade, he's attracted the attention of a man nearby with a very large gun. a moment when he freezes in blind terror, and then -]
[ It's a routine job, they said. Just keep the target busy, they said. It'll be fine, they said.
Right.
Routine job, her ass; there's no such thing. Which means the rest of it was pretty much bullshit, too. The bug's been planted on the guy they're watching almost since she slid onto the barstool next to him, it's just his room they have to finish rigging. Ava gives the target her best fake smile and nod with a forced laugh that's good enough to pass for genuine as she deftly intercepts his hand before he can openly grope her chest in the middle of the hotel bar. Ugh, this jerk isn't even her type. ]
Hey, Skippy-- [ she mutters surreptitiously through the comm, ] You wanna hurry up? The human octopus is getting handsy and it feels like feeding time.
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random self-indulgent stuff idk
Left. No, left. The other left. The one with the door you've got to go through. It'll take you to a staircase that'll take you to your target if everything goes right. That obviously isn't going to happen, but you've got to use the stairs anyway.
i love this
the annoying voice continually chattering away in his ear certainly isn't helping.
he turns his head for a quick check to make sure that the hallway's clear, then lets out a clipped sigh.]
Thanks. This is helpful, I appreciate it. [s a r c a s m] Really, I'm just, you know, overwhelmed by this whole orgasm of helpfulness I'm getting here. Never had anything like it in my life.
me too
[b r i s k l y. this isn't any picnic for her either; if she didn't have express orders from MI6 to help the losers, she'd just as soon rather be at home in her pyjamas with her cats.]
I can tell you what the score is if you'd really like to know. This is hardly demanding all of my attention.
[she might be playing sudoku while directing him around. maybe.]
<333
and it's loud.]
What? Look, I never said anything about the Petunias. Anything. Which, you know what that means? It means you were snooping, and didn't anyone ever tell you that that's not cool? Because it's really not fucking -
[somewhere in this tirade, he's attracted the attention of a man nearby with a very large gun. a moment when he freezes in blind terror, and then -]
Shit!
[he's running]
1/2
no subject
[and while he hopefully does that....]
They're down by three points, by the way -- two points, 21 just scored a goal.
[she mentions 21 totally coincidentally and not because she knows that's his niece.]
let me know if anything needs changed
Right.
Routine job, her ass; there's no such thing. Which means the rest of it was pretty much bullshit, too. The bug's been planted on the guy they're watching almost since she slid onto the barstool next to him, it's just his room they have to finish rigging. Ava gives the target her best fake smile and nod with a forced laugh that's good enough to pass for genuine as she deftly intercepts his hand before he can openly grope her chest in the middle of the hotel bar. Ugh, this jerk isn't even her type. ]
Hey, Skippy-- [ she mutters surreptitiously through the comm, ] You wanna hurry up? The human octopus is getting handsy and it feels like feeding time.